The Scale
Relationships are mapped on an integer scale from −10 to +10:
| Score | Meaning |
| +10 | Purest relationship possible — like with a young child |
| +8 | Love |
| +5 | Best friend |
| +1 | I know them |
| 0 | I don't know them |
| −1 | Mild negative |
| −5 | Actively difficult |
| −10 | Real enemy |
What the Data Shows
Family
Offspring — start at +9, peak at +10, decline gently to +7 over 35 years. Strongest, most stable bond.
Siblings — build to +8, drift down to +6. Significant but weakening slightly as lives diverge.
Parents — start at +9, stabilize near +5. Strong reliance early in life, less central as you take on adult roles.
Friends
Best friend — builds from 0 to +6 over a few years, then plateaus. Stable once established.
Good friend — peaks at +6, dips, stabilizes at +3. Distance, priorities, responsibilities weaken them over time.
General friend — quickly reaches +2 and holds. Acquaintance-level, part of a healthy social network.
The Negative Axis
Ex-partner / GF / BF — dips to −3, reconciles to −1. Emotional charge dissipates; lingering hurt but no ongoing hostility.
Ex-wife — drops sharply to −7, gradually rises to −1 over two decades. Charged initially; shared responsibilities (children) pull the curve back up.
Bad friend — takes the biggest early dive (−8), recovers slowly, never fully positive. Broken trust doesn't undo.
The Dataset
| Time (yrs) | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 15 | 20 | 25 | 30 | 35 |
| Offspring | 9 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 10 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 7 |
| Siblings | 0 | 7 | 7 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8.5 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 7 | 6 | 6 | 6 |
| Parent | 0 | 9 | 9 | 9 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 5 | 5 |
| Best friend | 0 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 6 | 6 |
| Good friend | 0 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 |
| General friend | 0 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 |
| Ex partner / GF / BF | 0 | −3 | −3 | −2 | −2 | −2 | −2 | −1 | −1 | −1 | −1 | −1 | −1 | −1 | −1 | −1 |
| Ex-wife | 0 | −5 | −6 | −7 | −6 | −5 | −3 | −3 | −2 | −1 | −1 | −1 | −1 | −1 | −1 | −1 |
| Bad friend | 0 | −8 | −4 | −5 | −6 | −6 | −7 | −7 | −6 | −6 | −6 | −5 | −4 | −3 | −2 | −2 |
Proposed Extensions
For life partners, three additional measures worth tracking:
Entangled happiness — how much of your happiness is coupled to theirs.
Transient happiness — moment-to-moment satisfaction curve.
Typical 5-year degradation — rate at which initial peaks decay.
Big Picture
Family vs. friends. Family bonds start strong and remain central throughout life, though slightly diminished. Friendships take time to build but stabilize once established.
Conflict and reconciliation. Even the worst relationships (ex-wives, bad friends) soften with time — a natural human tendency toward forgiveness or at least emotional distance.
Life's priorities shift. Parents and siblings decline as adult independence grows; offspring stay high — reflecting the natural transfer of focus from one generation to the next.
Durability of bonds. Strongest bonds (offspring, best friends) are resilient and stay high. Weaker ties (general friends, bad friends) fade — the system prioritizes more meaningful connections.
The interesting part isn't the specific numbers — it's that a quantified model of relationship evolution exposes patterns that a prose description would flatten.
